Here it comes...the whine fest...

I cratered today...emotionally that is...I was doing my spin on my bike and had watched the CD-rom that Jon had made for the Garage Gang and started thinking while I was spinning -always a bad thing...my social life sucks, my work life sucks, my romantic life sucks...a real pity party of one!!! I ended up crying my eyes out while I was doing my cool down on the bike and I hated it. Why does it hit when you least want it to? I mean, I had been doing well until Sunday - I felt myself withdrawing again while I was at the wrap-up party for the TDO - didn't really want to be around anyone and just wanted to crawl under a rock and hide. Here I was surrounded by all these successful people who had great lives, and there I was - more or less feeling like a bump on a log - 38 years old and what do I have to show for my life? Precious little...

Oooo...that looks bad even when I write it down...Yech! I hate it when I get this way!! The good news is that I got a call for an interview tomorrow - it won't be much of a job, but if I get it, at least it will be something. I got a tip from a friend of mine at Apache that one of the engineering companies was looking for people, and I jumped at it. I submitted a resume and I have a chance at the job. It will be more experience in oil and gas, which is also a plus, and will always look good on a resume, if I want to eventually focus on it for a career. So, I'll be keeping my fingers crossed that this may be the chance I've been waiting for.

More good news - I stuck to the eating plan even though my usual first reaction to getting down in the dumps is the comfort food - like a DQ blizzard. I resisted and managed to do okay. I met up with Gabriele for sushi for dinner tonight, and then we went grocery shopping, which was good too - it helped pull me out of the dumps.

It's snowing like crazy tonight as well - very pretty big white flakes. It makes me miss being out in Bragg Creek when you get storms like this - I can remember going outside and not being able to hear anything at all - it would be dead quiet, and all you could hear was the snow crunching under your feet when you walked through it. I miss it.

Okay...eating today: breakfast was the traditional oatmeal, lunch was some salad and an almond butter and jam sandwich, G and I had decided on a later dinner, so I had some yogurt and a couple of pieces of toast before I went out, then had some tuna, salmon, scallop, and eel sushi, along with some edamame, miso soup and salad.

Total calories: 2025 Fat: 38% (6% sat, 12% poly, 17% mono) Carbs: 42% (finally got that down), and Protein: 20%

Keep your fingers crossed that the job comes through - I need a change of scenery!!!